Who Would Shakespeare Kill First?

A local United Way office realized that it had never received
a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person
in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to
contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least
$500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like
to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First,
did your research also show that my mother is dying after a
long illness, and has medical bills that are several times
her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um...no."
"--or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and
confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology
but was interrupted, "--or that my sister's husband died in a
traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation,
"leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said
simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: "--so if I
don't give any money to them, why should I give any to
you?!?"