Standard Rule For Any Key West Bar

Business Sign: Dick Needs To Wash

Joke: The Blind Man In A Lesbian Bar

 A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He find his way to a barstool and orders a drink. 

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, 

"Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?" 

The bar immediately falls deathly quiet. In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things . . . 

One: The bartender is a blonde woman. 

Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman. 

Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional boxer. 

Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler. 

Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a black belt in karate, with a very bad attitude! 

Now, think about it seriously, mister. 

Do you still want to tell that joke?" 

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and says: "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!" 

The Talking Centipede

A man goes into a pet store and tells the clerk he's looking for a real unique pet. The clerk tells the man he has a talking centipede. The man buys the centipede and walks out of the store.

In his car the man asks the centipede if he would like to go to Reilly's Bar after he gets home and cleaned up. No response from the centipede. When they get home the man asks the centipede again if he'd like to go to the bar, still no response. After the man showers and changes clothes he says to the centipede, "I'm leaving now so this is the last time I'm going to ask you if you want to go have a few drinks."

The centipede snaps back and says "I heard you the first time, I've been putting my shoes on!"