Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Jon Stewart Roasts Glenn Beck's CPAC Performance
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Rage Within the Machine - Progressivism | ||||
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Classes for Men at the Local Learning Center for Adults
Sign up by April 1, 2010
NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of only 8 participants.
TOPIC 1
HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS.
Step by step, with slide presentation.
TOPIC 2
THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round table discussion.
TOPIC 3
IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?
Group practice.
TOPIC 4
FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.
TOPIC 5
THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE KITCHEN SINK?
Examples on video.
TOPIC 6
LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
Helpline support and support groups.
TOPIC 7
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum.
TOPIC 8
HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
Graphics and audio tape.
TOPIC 9
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
Real life testimonials.
TOPIC 10
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT WHILE SHE PARALLEL PARKS.
Driving simulation.
TOPIC 11
LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE.
Online class and role playing.
TOPIC 12
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
Relaxation. Exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
TOPIC 13
HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
**UPON COMPLETION OF THE COURSE DIPLOMAS WILL BE ISSUED TO THE SURVIVORS.
NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of only 8 participants.
TOPIC 1
HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS.
Step by step, with slide presentation.
TOPIC 2
THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round table discussion.
TOPIC 3
IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?
Group practice.
TOPIC 4
FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.
TOPIC 5
THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE KITCHEN SINK?
Examples on video.
TOPIC 6
LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
Helpline support and support groups.
TOPIC 7
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum.
TOPIC 8
HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
Graphics and audio tape.
TOPIC 9
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
Real life testimonials.
TOPIC 10
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT WHILE SHE PARALLEL PARKS.
Driving simulation.
TOPIC 11
LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE.
Online class and role playing.
TOPIC 12
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
Relaxation. Exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
TOPIC 13
HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
**UPON COMPLETION OF THE COURSE DIPLOMAS WILL BE ISSUED TO THE SURVIVORS.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Where Do Men Go When They Are In The Doghouse?
Where do men go when they are in the dog house because of something stupid they did to their wives or girlfriends?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sinbad: One Good Person
| Jokes.com | ||||
| ||||
He Knew The Bride When She Used To Rock N' Roll
A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened...but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail.
In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.
"Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs."
"That must have hurt," said the judge.
"No kidding," said the best man. "I broke three of my fingers."
In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.
"Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs."
"That must have hurt," said the judge.
"No kidding," said the best man. "I broke three of my fingers."
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