The Definition of Success

Success is:

At age 4, success is....... not peeing your pants.
At age 12, success is...... having friends.
At age 20, success is...... having sex.
At age 35, success is...... making money.
At age 60, success is...... having sex.
At age 70, success is...... having friends.
At age 80, success is...... not peeing your pants

Dating Service Failure

Extreme Funny

News Headlines Which Make You Say "WTF?"

South Park: "Consulting The Charts"

MacGregor's Achievements

A Scottish old timer is talking to a young man in a bar.

"Lad, look out there to the field. Do ye see that fence? Look how well it’s built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. Piled it for months. But do they call me MacGregor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo…" blurts the old man.

Then the old man gestured at the bar.

"Look here at the bar. Do ye see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down with me own achin’ back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor for eight days. But do they call me MacGregor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo…" claims the old man.

Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ye see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me MacGregor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo…" says the old man.

Then the old man looks around nervously, making sure no one is paying attention. "But ye screw one goat…"

Slow Mo Duck For The Lame Duck