A man goes into a pet store and tells the clerk he's looking for a real unique pet. The clerk tells the man he has a talking centipede. The man buys the centipede and walks out of the store.
In his car the man asks the centipede if he would like to go to Reilly's Bar after he gets home and cleaned up. No response from the centipede. When they get home the man asks the centipede again if he'd like to go to the bar, still no response. After the man showers and changes clothes he says to the centipede, "I'm leaving now so this is the last time I'm going to ask you if you want to go have a few drinks."
The centipede snaps back and says "I heard you the first time, I've been putting my shoes on!"
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