Mistaken Intentions

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of
his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and
tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied the
man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed.

He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her
neck. Suddenly he got up and left the room. As soon as possible the husband
made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered,
"Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing on your neck
and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to
have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do
don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it!"

After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says,
"Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a
woman in years & he wasn't kissing my neck ..... he was whispering in my
ear. He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline
in the bathroom. Be strong and I love you."