A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon, however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.
The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
"Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I refuses to swallow the seamen."
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Jon Stewart Gives Sean Hannity History and Food Chain Lessons
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| ||||
Thursday, September 17, 2009
The Rabbi, The Hindu Holy Man & The Lawyer
A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," said the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening."
With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night. Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door, there stood the Rabbi from the barn.
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you , but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later, the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door.
"What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks.
The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!"
Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change.
He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door.
Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow...
The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," said the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening."
With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night. Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door, there stood the Rabbi from the barn.
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you , but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later, the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door.
"What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks.
The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!"
Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change.
He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door.
Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow...
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Oldies but Goodies: Best of Headlines from 2002
THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2002
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
........and best of all........
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
........and best of all........
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
St. Peter And The Man Knocking On Heaven's Door
There is a knock on St. Peter's door. He looks out and a man
is standing there. St. Peter is about to begin his interview when
the man disappears.
A short time later there's another knock. St. Peter gets the door,
sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, and the man disappears
once again.
A few minutes later, another knock. Once again St. Peter opens
the door and sees the same man.
"Hey, are you playing games with me?" St. Peter calls after him.
"No," the man's distant voice replies anxiously. "They're trying
to resuscitate me."
is standing there. St. Peter is about to begin his interview when
the man disappears.
A short time later there's another knock. St. Peter gets the door,
sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, and the man disappears
once again.
A few minutes later, another knock. Once again St. Peter opens
the door and sees the same man.
"Hey, are you playing games with me?" St. Peter calls after him.
"No," the man's distant voice replies anxiously. "They're trying
to resuscitate me."
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