Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Moped Driver and The Ferrari Owner
A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: A brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.
An old man on a mo-ped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, Sonny?"
The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the young dude proudly.
The mo-ped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my moped!"
Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 160 mph!
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be, and suddenly...
Whoooooosssshhhhh! Something whips by him, going much faster!
"What on Earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the young man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the mo-ped! Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph. Whoooooosssshhhhh!
He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again! Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the mo-ped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!
Suddenly, the mo-ped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.
The young man stops and jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is still alive.
He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my God! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers with his dying breath... "Unhook... my... suspenders... from... your.... side view mirror."
An old man on a mo-ped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, Sonny?"
The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the young dude proudly.
The mo-ped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my moped!"
Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 160 mph!
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be, and suddenly...
Whoooooosssshhhhh! Something whips by him, going much faster!
"What on Earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the young man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the mo-ped! Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph. Whoooooosssshhhhh!
He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again! Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the mo-ped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!
Suddenly, the mo-ped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.
The young man stops and jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is still alive.
He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my God! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers with his dying breath... "Unhook... my... suspenders... from... your.... side view mirror."
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Governator Ahnold Tells California Legislature What He Really Thinks
Until Snopes.com tells me this isn't real, I'm going with a hat tip to Ahnold for playing "Acrostics" with his letter to the California Legislature. Anyone, Californians, want to verify the veracity of this letter?
Drunk Dude Dance At The Mini-Mart
This one is funny and sad at the same time.
This one beg's so many questions such as:
"How the hell did he arrive at the store?" Did a space ship hover by the gas pumps and burp him out? Seriously, how did he get to the store? It would have taken an hour or more to walk from a bar next door in the condition he was in. And if he was driven there, why didn't the driver come in and make the purchase?
"How the hell did he make it through the front door without anyone in the store not noticing his wobbly pinball entrance?" There was no clerk behind the counter to watch those near the register?
"Does he look homeless?" Naw, he's reasonably dressed. And he's not a dirtbag reaching for the Natty Ice. He's going for the higher priced stuff.
The attempted yoga moves on the floor in front of the coolers are cartoonish, and make me laugh out loud. But by the end of the video, I'm feeling sorry for the guy, hoping he can snap out of his stupor. How is it he never just passed out?
p.s. The attempted exit is priceless.
This one beg's so many questions such as:
"How the hell did he arrive at the store?" Did a space ship hover by the gas pumps and burp him out? Seriously, how did he get to the store? It would have taken an hour or more to walk from a bar next door in the condition he was in. And if he was driven there, why didn't the driver come in and make the purchase?
"How the hell did he make it through the front door without anyone in the store not noticing his wobbly pinball entrance?" There was no clerk behind the counter to watch those near the register?
"Does he look homeless?" Naw, he's reasonably dressed. And he's not a dirtbag reaching for the Natty Ice. He's going for the higher priced stuff.
The attempted yoga moves on the floor in front of the coolers are cartoonish, and make me laugh out loud. But by the end of the video, I'm feeling sorry for the guy, hoping he can snap out of his stupor. How is it he never just passed out?
p.s. The attempted exit is priceless.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Hat Tip To New Website Link On Comedy Cosmos . . . Passiveagressivenotes.com
So a bit ago, I'm showing off two of my favorite websites, http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ and http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/ to a couple of co-workers.
One of them, said, "You gotta check out http://www.passiveagressivenotes.com/. I did, I love it, and above are four of the random notes you will find on the website.
Enjoy!
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