Onion News Network - Surgeon General Says "Stay In The Pink With Cigarettes and Drink!"

Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink

ONN: "Is Wind Power Too Dangerous For America?"

This one is in favor for all the deniars of Global Warming. Expect to see either Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann use this as factual evidence that Green Technology is more dangerous than Coal in a near future PR soundbite:

In The Know: Coal Lobby Warns Wind Farms May Blow Earth Off Orbit

The Onion: Excitement Growing Among Beatles Fans For Paul McCartney's Funeral

Excitement Growing Among Beatles Fans For Paul McCartney's Funeral

Vice President Biden Criticized for Appearing in Hennessy Ad

Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy Ads

The Onion: Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck (Takes A Few Seconds To Load)

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Google Opt Out Feature Allows Users To Move To Remote Village To Protect Privacy

Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village

New Wearable Feedbags For Americans From Yum Brands

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

Taco Bell's New 100% "Green" Menu

Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature

Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All US Dollars

Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All US Dollars

March Madness To Expand to 4,096 Teams!

NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams